Inner Journeys

Obstacles on the Path

You may have noticed that I often use the term self realization to explain what these posts are about. In spiritual realms the term was coined by Paramahansa Yogananda who founded the Self Realization Fellowship in 1920 as an instrument for the dissemination of his teachings.

I got an AI interpretation of the word self realization which described it as a “lifelong process of fulfilling one’s potential and achieving personal fulfillment and a balanced life.” I thought that was rather good. Psychologically speaking this implies a connection with one’s True Self as well as the material ego consciousness with which we function in our daily affairs.

In the west we focus on personal potential…career fulfillment…social standing…economic success and so on. In the East self realization refers to our connection with the Divine…the True Self.

Living in harmony with these two aspects can be problematic. There is tremendous conditioning that requires us to be successful in the material sense….and honestly we should be successful in that sense…but that should not be our priority…If it is, well unfortunately we will always end up being frustrated and unhappy. Think about it…How many times have you bought something big or small and never ever been dissatisfied with it…maybe wanting an upgrade at some point. We even get bored with our relationships…with sex…maybe even with our God…something is always missing…something isn’t perfect…and it never will be until we find a way to incorporate the Divine into our life in a dynamic way.

This is not easy. During the years that I worked in Costa Rica we had a vibrant and dynamic group of men who were embarked on this journey of self realization together. We met regularly and often did weekend retreats which were very powerful experiences. This went on for a couple of years…and then quite suddenly the men stopped coming. There were no more men..no more groups.

I was quite baffled by the abruptness of this change and set about to find out what had happened. After some poking around I discovered that the group as a whole…unbeknownst to me…had decided that living a “spiritual” life …as they understood the phrase…alongside their daily life that demanded so much time and attention and perhaps quite different values than “Right speech…right action and an open heart” was quite impossible. It simply could not be done as far as they were concerned.

I realized that I had missed the boat. I had failed to help them integrate the spiritual and the material worlds in a way that would permit them to be successful in the material world while at the same time becoming a qualitatively better person. Which brings me to the subject of this post…obstacles on the path.

When we discover something new that interests us we are initially very excited.I am speaking in the context of the spiritual life but this applies to the material world just as well….think child with anew toy here.

How did you first become conscious that you were looking for something “more” than what the material world has to offer?…a difficult life experience…an awakening…a near death experience…boredom…a spiritual guide or friend…curiosity…There are many reasons for this awakening

Hopefully we are able to follow up on these awarenesses…Maybe we enter therapy…we go to a Pow Wow…we join a prayer group…we experience Plant Medicine…there are many points by which our soul can speak to us of awakening.

Whatever that entry point is we may follow up on it or we may not…a lot of people don’t continue. They may have a good experience and are able to make some helpful adjustments in their life and that is enough…but believe me once you experience the joy of even a small awakening you will want more…your soul will require it. I was offered a small proof of that a few weeks ago when someone called me and said that he wanted to come and see me “To continue the work that he had started with me” When I asked him when he had last seen me he said that it was 25 years ago….25 years…he had been processing his first experience for 25 years.

That is actually not so unusual. Personally I find that I am only now unfolding teachings that were given to me more than 25 years ago. All of which is to say that self realization really is a “lifelong process”…so relax…Enjoy…what you don’t get done this time around you can do next time.

So much of the early work is purification…purification of the body as well as the mind. Purification depends on the nature of the illness does it not..the intensity and the details of our particular case. We are unique…different in this regard…so just because someone else seems to be moving along faster than we are is irrelevant. We are where we are and as the cleansing works through us we will move on…Never doubt that.

In this regard I have often found that folks who appeared to be very advanced spiritually sometimes come down with terrible illnesses…I used to ask myself why. It seemed so unfair.

I remember one dear friend…I always considered her as a teacher and never understood why she came to see me…but she did… for several years… and she swore that the work was a blessing for her. During that time she got herself out of a violent and disastrous relationship and in her 60’s finally achieved a degree of economic stability that would allow her to fulfill some of her dreams.

Then very suddenly she was diagnosed with a terminal cancer with only a few months to live. She became deeply depressed and angry.She used writing as a cathartic technique and would say to me, “Keith, I don’t understand the hateful angry things that are pouring out of me.” It was as if all the emotional suffering that was left over from her therapy had been squeezed into that cancerous tumor…and only the physical removal of the physical symptom would give her peace.

You see the student who is committed to a deep spiritual path will suffer more than someone who has a more “ordinary” life…one where they do not ask the deeper questions that might disturb them.

As impurities leave us…body/mind/spirit they stir up reactions..past karma..impressions of previous actions…old illnesses…deep long standing moods…and so on. These things may just arise during our practice…headaches…stomach aches…muscle pains…and medicines may not have any affect on them. They were brought into light through our practice and that is the only thing that will remove them.

When and how may be unknown to us but there is a moment when these conditions will leave us in an unexplainable way….as if a miracle has taken place.

Keeping the faith…maintaining our belief in the greater good and staying in love with life while the process runs its course ain’t easy…

Fix your mind on the healing sound of Aum… I will pick up on this theme next time…